frejskamavor:

on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

(Source: sanastark, via collapsed)

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?

(Source: penceyprepofficial, via distraction)

plasticbagvevo:

checking tumblr in public

image

(via pineplapple)

parkingstrange:

when a post gets popular after you add a caption to it

image

(via pineplapple)

krystalrneth:

i hate it when ur swatting a fly away and u accidentally touch it

(Source: foodtrucker, via sorry)